Julia fixes Parliament!

You guys, I just thought of something!

There’s MILLIONS of us right? Must be at least a few that are hacked off with all this corruption. So why don’t we all throw a quid in the pot until we’ve got a couple of grand and then we can buy our VERY OWN MP. They’ll have to listen to us then!

And after we’ve paid up, we can force them to bring in lots of really cool stuff, like Lords reform, making sure our banking system can’t bankrupt our country, not degrading refugees (especially kids!) and not making it illegal to take photos in the street. (Those are mine, when you chuck in your quid you can add others…)

Then we’ll REALLY have someone in Parliament who listens – because WE’RE paying them. Great, no? Makes you wonder why no one else thought of it in all the years we’ve had a Parliament.

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Filed under Minitrue

5 responses to “Julia fixes Parliament!

  1. That’s a great idea. I want them to wear a chicken costume.

  2. Yeah, we’ve been doing that here in Hong Kong for years. Not only for politicos, but also for the police. “Hong Kong: best that money can buy!” Doesn’t work, though.

  3. Well, as Jim Jarmusch says, ‘nothing is original’ and as I often say, ‘all my best lines are quotes’!

    It’s depressing to think that resorting to bribery is the only way of making the swine pay attention to us, still more depressing to think that even that won’t work if NL’s Hong Kong experience is an example.

    The next stage must be barricades, right?

  4. The great thing about British colonialism and the Westminster model of governance is that Whitehall puts all experimental ideas into practice in the colonies first before implementation in Britain. It’s like a safety measure that, if things eff up, then home is still safe and sound.

    One example: The British anti-graft body today and its operating guidelines? The British government set up the ICAC (Independent Commission Against Corruption) in Hong Kong back in 1971/2 – literally decades before the UK. Works in Hong Kong, thankfully.

    But H.M. Government never implements its good, workable ideas back home. It’s okay to cut out the middleman and other shiz in the colonies, but stopping the gravy train back home just isn’t “on”. The cynical but wholly accurate view is that the gravy train is just too good for colonials. Best reserve it for homeboys.

    Parliament and the government know the good things they came up with works, and works well. They just don’t carry them out back home.

    In the UK, your problem is that you’ve got professional politicians. In Hong Kong, we’ve literally got Ingsoc here: professional civil servants. The problem is big for both of us because it’s just two sides of the same coin.

    The good news is that the British are (still?) arsed enough to care about the way the country is run.

    Another good news is that the British have your option of buying-out a politician because the British anti-corruption apparatus doesn’t work as well as the Hong Kong one.

    Barricades? Yeah, buy them and use them to lock the politicos inside their homes.

    Privatise the police forces/constabularies and 101 other agencies. Then hold quarterly shareholder meetings every 13 weeks for “performance appraisal” and “shareholder value”. Pretty soon they’ll be too scared to even blink.

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