Is a New Year’s resolution really the solution?

Every New Year, people flock to try out the latest fitness crazes and fads. Purchase lotions, potions and electronic contraptions in order to trim and slim, but feed their egos. I personally think the best way to get fit is to employ what I call the ‘Charles Dickens Method’; basically, go on massive walks for a good few hours. Allegedly the writer would take the air daily and spend his walking time reflecting and working on the structures of his novels.

charles dickens in his studyI always find it a tad ironic that people will drive to a gymnasium to maybe then hit the treadmill for twenty minutes. I have often thought that electricity in the gymnasium is in fact powered by the people pounding the machines, cycling and rowing, feeding a ginormous electrical generator to fuel the lights for the establishment.

Another favourable way to slice off the poundage is to dance like a maniac to disco tunes, like Olivia Newton John’s track, Physical.

Or perhaps, you could don some silver hot pants and boogie around a local roller disco, just like Sir Cliff Richard in the video, Wired for Sound. I advise readers of a nervous disposition to please refrain from viewing this music video nasty. Once seen, never ever forgotten. Please note this was released at the time when punk was storming the establishment!

If you are insistent on picking up a DVD with the latest celebrity, please – before you do I wholly recommend this classic, Zsa Zsa Gabor’s, ‘It’s Simple Darlings’:

No other fitness guru will attack the workout in the calm and tortoise-slow manner than this famous-for-being-famous star. She even has the assistance of two hunky henchman to help her into positions, in between innuendo-rich dialogue that would not be out-of-place in a Benny Hill Script.

You may not lose weight through the exercises but I can guarantee you will with laughter.

Remember, it’s simple darlings!

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