Tag Archives: Alistair Campbell

Staunch supporters?

As you may have noticed from a recent post, ten minutes hate is aware there is an election on the horizon. And while this half of the writing team is quite relieved to be on the opposite side of the world from all the fuss, behind the scenes emails have been flying about the thorny topic of who, if anyone, to support.

My colleague, Mr Maguire, was threatening to make his decision after reading all the major parties’ manifestos. For which endeavour we must surely thank him. I can think of quite a few better ways to spend time in a favourite reading chair. Fortunately, for those of us without that level of dedication, the internet is here to save the day.

I Side With will ask you an array of questions – the answers to which can be very nuanced if you so choose – you aren’t hampered by binary responses. Then it will tell you the party that matches your views on the issues you hold dearest.

Now I would have considered myself a very disillusioned former Labour supporter. I could list everything they have done since those heady days of 1997, but like any break up, what would be the point? These days I think of them, if at all, like an ex whose number flashes onto your phone’s screen as you quietly put it down onto the table, walk into the kitchen and put the kettle on. Whatever the Labour Party had to say, I wasn’t in the mood for listening.

So imagine my surprise to finish the quiz and be told I am 84% Labour! I doubt even Ed Balls gets that much… About as Labour as it is possible to be and still I thought they weren’t worth the candle. It is almost as if there is an agenda to keep the focus on the awkwardness of Ed Miliband and away from his party’s policies. Imagine!

In a way though, the sheer abundance of ‘Ed Miliband looking daft’ photos that exist is heartwarming proof that the ruthless media operation of the Blair-Brown era has finally been laid to rest. Alistair Campbell would have ripped the still-beating heart out of any picture editor who even contemplated publishing this:

Miliband cuppa

… and there are many more examples.

Still, this focus on the leaders is itself very-unBritish. We don’t have a Presidential system, so unless you live in Doncaster North you are not actually able to vote for the poor man in the picture above. (Who among us can say that they have never suffered via an unstable cup and saucer?)

Suaver media presences have had their hands on the wheel since 2010 and look where that has got us. Simply put, we cannot let PR guy Cameron and his millionaires club cronies win again. In the words of a family member:

Public services will not survive another Tory Government.

There is now little left to cut.

As in 1945, when a vote for Labour was a vote for the NHS, so it is this time. Have Labour been awful in the past? Yep. Are they led by a guy who struggles with basic chinaware? You betcha. Am I going to vote for them anyway, in a fit of hope over experience? Yes, I am and I think you should seriously contemplate it too. The NHS needs us.

More from Mr Maguire, to follow when he has read all those manifestos…

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A ringside seat

At the risk of sounding self-indulgent, blogging seems a bit redundant at the moment.  The situation changes so rapidly, while Stephen Fry, John Q Publican and the Flying Rodent say everything I want to, but better.  It seems ridiculous to add another opinion to the fog of disinformation as the news media continues its descent from the sublime to the ridiculous:

But it is not ten minutes hate‘s style to drown in such self-indulgent waters for long.  Instead, let’s take a couple of lungfuls of air and attempt to doggy-paddle towards a distant yet sunny stretch of beach.  For the first time that I can remember, people are interested in politics again, and not the stupid, ‘leader’s wives’ version of it eternally peddled by the tabloids, but the ancient mechanics behind how the system should work and if in fact it does.

The brightest dot on the horizon must be that we have had no government for five days now and the sky still hasn’t fallen in.  If you turned off Sky News and ignored the papers, you would barely even notice.  This either points to an unelected cabal of civil servants being the real power in the country or a dizzying scent of anarchism in the air:

…when the most thoroughly organized, centralised institution, maintained at an excessive national expense, has proven a complete social failure, the dullest [mind] must begin to question its right to exist. The time is past when we can be content with our social fabric merely because it is “ordained by divine right,” or by the majesty of the law.

– Emma Goldman

So I say, let them squabble.  While they distract themselves with the scintillating prospect of live, 24-hour coverage of some suits chatting in a room, we can get on with some direct action.  Take Back Parliament, Mend our Voting System, Unlock Democracy, there are plenty of campaigns to get involved with, many of which don’t even require you to get up from your desk.

Of course, you could argue that engaging with the election process in any way other than setting fire to your ballot is a betrayal of true anarchist principles.  Though ‘whoever you vote for, the government always wins’ seems to have been knocked on the head a bit this last week.  I also think that so many of us turning our backs on the process – 35% of eligible voters didn’t engage on Thursday and not all of those were locked out of polling stations – is what has allowed the expenses-fiddling and lobbying to become so endemic. 

If they think we are watching, maybe they will take the piss a little less.  Let’s make the bastards work for those free, taxpayer-funded bath plugs!

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Justice League

I wrote earlier that Amir Choudhary was ‘wrong, plain wrong’ and was rightly called up on it by this bloke over here in the comments. Rightly because, in one important aspect, Mr Choudhary is right, for reminding us of the non-British war dead, albeit for some very wrong reasons: getting his name in the papers. We lost count as the Afghani and Iraqi body counts increased far in advance of our own, widely mourned, totals. Except that is too kind an analysis, because we didn’t lose count, we decided not to count. Partly out of embarrassment and partly because we found it more convenient to turn the dead into terrorists:

The problem is: in Afghanistan the peasants do suspicious things, too. Some then die because they are indeed Taliban, while others become Taliban for being dead

There is a road safety ad on TV at the moment which shows a man haunted by the mangled body of the dead child he hit with his car. Everywhere he looks he sees the broken, twisted limbs. You have to wonder if that’s what Tony Blair’s dreams are like. Except there’s not just one child, there are hundreds, all eyeballing him through the dark nights, silently demanding to know why they couldn’t be allowed to live.

Over Christmas I watched the film Frost/Nixon, the showbiz and glitz world of the interviewer warily treading onto the unfamiliar territory of dead Vietnamese and Laotians. We all want a Frost/Nixon moment, where the wrongdoer looks at the camera and it hits him, that there is so much blood on his hands he is looking at about 200 billion years in Purgatory. That he caused all this pain because he couldn’t admit to being wrong. It is probably too much to hope for that we get such a moment on Friday afternoon. As Blair realises that he, like Nixon, is now tainted unto death and probably in his obituary too, as a man who waged an illegal, doomed war when all sensible advice counselled against it. Then he looks straight to camera as a single, unwiped tear drifts down his cheek and finally, we have our absolution.

I don’t expect it to end so neatly. Real life has a tendency to be, of course, less dramatic than dramatists would hope. However, the Iraq Inquiry has gone about its work with a calm dedication that, although I almost hate to admit it, has done more good than throwing Blair, Campbell and Straw into the Coliseum and releasing the lions.

Banning dissent, ignoring international law, disregarding Parliament. For a bunch of lawyers, New Labour has shown a strange disrespect for all things legal. Speaking truth to power is never a comfortable job, but good counsel has rarely been at such a low premium, at stages ignored, disregarded and, a final humiliation, ‘encouraged’ to provide more favourable advice. The Guardian’s legal affairs correspondence, Afua Hirsch:

What also came across with fresh clarity was the government’s dismissiveness of the legal expertise in its own departments… In his evidence, Wood said Straw’s dismissal of his advice was ‘probably the first and only occasion’ that a minister rejected his legal advice in this way

So it is all the more heartening to see the forces of justice fight back, not like the superheroes Blair and Bush imagine themselves to be, but via calm reasoning and careful sifting of the facts, the Supreme Court and the Iraq Inquiry have, this week, given a small glimmer of hope that the rule of law still prevails.

Picture from the Hollywood News, with thanks!
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Wrong

Cartoon from the ever-excellent xkcd

Ok, so I know I should know better than to bite.  I know I should just move on.  I am trying to, honest.  There I was, innocently reading an eminently sensible and thought-provoking post by David Osler about how to today’s youth it is Labour who are the evil ones and the Tories who are to play at being the saviours, while to anyone who grew up slightly ahead of this generation, it will forever be the other way around.  Perhaps this is just the way the pendulum swings, I thought.  You grow up under one set of bastards, vowing never to vote for them as soon as you have the power.  Then the other lot gets in, they screw it up so badly that the next bunch of kids makes a similar vow and the cycle is repeated forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

And then I got to the comments.

‘ZanuLiebour are like Nazis!’  ‘The Tories will put poor people in camps!’

‘You want to privatise the NHS!’  ‘Your lot already have!’

And I want to say, grow the fuck up.  I want to point out that people are being left behind, whole lives chucked on the scrapheap, just like the 80s, while a bunch of professional idiots scrap over who gets to play with the levers of power and their respective gangs of cheerleaders yelp encouragment across the ‘blogosphere’.  I want to, but it is impossible to get a word in edgeways.

Meanwhile, the news gets more ridiculous by the day: Alistair Campbell is tipped for a return; the Tories will sell the BBC when they get in; Gordon’s on the happy pills; Mandelson would work for a Conservative government if they tickled his chin when they asked. As if any rational human being outside of SW1 gives a flying one for any of it, they would rather just be left alone to try to clear their credit card debts before they lose their jobs.

And I don’t know if it is better to add to the chatter, or instead to ignore it all in the hope that it will go away and focus instead on nice things, like this:

(found via It’s Nice That, again)

So I can’t decide.  You tell me, in the comments below.  Just remember to play nice because, I promise, the first mention of Liebour and you’re banned…

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